Sunday, January 06, 2008

Dave Barry Reporting From NH: Huckabutt and the Democrat Dinner

If we didn't have Dave Barry reporting on this race, we would be missing insights into the campaign like these. He goes where the MSM refuses to go:

Speaking of warming, the crowd was warmed up by a blues-rock band called Mama Kicks, and when Huckabee surged into the gym he picked up a bass and joined in playing In The Midnight Hour.'' It was a little rough at the start, and Huckabee turned around and bent over to fiddle with the amplifier, so for a few seconds the crowd was basically looking directly at the Huckabutt, which is a view you rarely get of a leading presidential contender, fortunately. But then the band got it together and did decent versions of Twist and Shout and Mustang Sally, rocking the house New-Hampshire style, with people keeping time by rhythmically thrusting signs that said ''HUCKABEE'' and ''MAKE GLOBAL WARMING A PRIORITY'' into the air.

Then Huckabee introduced Chuck Norris, who broke an IRS agent in half with his forehead. No, I'm kidding, although that would have gone over well. Chuck did say he was unhappy with the IRS, as well as the status quo in general. He is for education. Then Huckabee got up and said he was also against the IRS, and in favor of freedom. The crowd was polite, but I think they were more fired up when he was playing bass.

After that I drove through 293 million cubic miles of picturesque snow to Milford, N.H., where 3,000 Democrats had gathered for a big dinner in the New Hampshire Dome, a big inflatable structure with a plastic roof held up by the air emitted by a guy on the podium introducing every New Hampshire Democrat, living or dead, in the history of the world.

[...]

Until you have heard major Democratic contenders, you do not realize how many times it is possible to use the word ''change'' in a single speech. They're in a big fight over who will be the best changer. At one point, Clinton, sounding like a veteran toll-booth attendant, said, ``I've been making change for 35 years.''