Pulling a Jonah

In some ways I am behaving like Jonah.

I haven't been swallowed by a fish, but I definitely seem to have run myself into a spiritual corner and I do not know how/when I will get out of it. Maybe I'm running from where God wants me to go? Have I closed my ears to the Lord? Am I pouting under my "plant"?

I know is it has to do with my church. I just do not want to go. For the past two Sunday's our family has stayed home because of a "fire watch". [We learned this term from a friend who uses it when they skip church, using the excuse that the have to stay home to "watch the fire" in the chimney, making sure it doesn't burn the house down. It's a Norwegian thing].

I think the writing is on the wall for me, it's time to find a new church home. This has been a difficult journey for me to come to grips with. This has been my church home since I was redeemed in 1996. I have drunk all the spiritual "milk" they have there for me and now it's time I move on to maturity, and sadly, that means I need to find it elsewhere. I am not claiming to be above those I will be leaving behind, no, I just long for a steady diet of "solid food" (law and gospel). I have been in denial for a long time about this.

Why I need to leave is based on doctrinal differences and leadership issues.

These doctrinal differences have affected my church fellowship. It guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I feel very lonely. Because I have been unwilling to compromise on the gospel, I have reaped the cost, and that cost is fellowship. I long to have the communion of saints, where we all agree on the basic tenets of reformed christianity (the 5 solas of the reformation). Where the doctrines of grace are preached every Sunday. Am I asking too much?

As far as the leadership issues go, I know I need to leave because I cannot keep myself from the sins of criticism and judgement. It's making my bones rot.

So I am in this spiritual desert. For now.

If you are inclined, I'd appreciate some prayer.